3:30 AM

It's 3:30 in the morning and I've been awake with Client Two for a good thirty minutes or so. The ornery little guy just won't go back to sleep. So, I've decided to make a list of all the stuff that's going through my head at this wee hour. 

• He kind of looks like the Michelin Man in just his diaper with all his cute little rolls.

• I paid good money for this stupid dishwasher white noise. Why isn't it working?

• Sweet! Sold more stuff on Facebook.

• Why won't he take his paci? He loves his paci.

• Hubby would hate me if I went and woke him up.

• I bet I can make Mary Had a Little Lamb into a rap.

• I need to oil this glider rocking chair or something. The squeaking is so loud it sounds like there's a mouse stuck in it.

• He's lucky he's cute.

• "Mary had a little lamb whose fleece was white as snow, and everywhere that Mary went the little lamb yelled 'Yo!'"

• Wow that's a bad smell! No wonder he wasn't sleeping!

• I'm going to need to buy diapers soon.

• He pooped. Why is he still awake?

• "It followed her to school one day which was against the rules!"

• It's hot in here. I bet that's why he's not sleeping. Let's turn the air down to 65* and see if that helps. 

• I really want a Chick-Fil-A biscuit right now. 

• "Go Mary! Go Mary! Break it down! Break it down!"

• That sock monkey is looking at me.

• I need to organize his clothes again.

• I need to clean up the nursery. Why is it so messy? Oh, yeah. Life.

• "Go Lambie! Go Lambie! Break it down! Break it down!"

• Is it getting too cold in here? 

• His eyes are closed! Dare I move? No, not yet! I am NOT starting this process over!

• I'll just Google myself really quickly. Yep that's me.

• Okay, he hasn't moved. I'm going to put him in his crib now and pray he stays asleep.