Sock Monkey Awareness

There is a little known problem sweeping our country today, a problem many of us are guilty of adding to. Just about everyone reading this has heard of the children's poem "Five Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed." Sometimes this number may even be increased to ten. You've probably seen books, short movies, and even sung the song yourself. You like the catchy melody and the fun counting game it provides. What you do not realize is that you are feeding a dangerous occupation for sock monkeys.

Although many books may portray the jumping monkeys as your run of the mill monkeys, the monkeys doing the jumping are sock monkeys about 97% of the time. Sock monkeys find that jumping on the bed gets them the publicity and attention they crave. Bed jumping is quickly becoming a serious- and dangerous!!!- occupation for sock monkeys of all sizes and patterns. In fact, sock monkeys made from unique patterns such as argyle or polka-dots are twice as likely to jump on the bed. They claim that jumping "just makes [them] feel like part of the group of sock monkeys as a whole." All of these monkeys just want the attention that the stories and songs bring them. They just want to be on the cover of the next book or, better yet, the next movie adaptation.

But why is jumping such a big deal? Studies show that roughly ten out of every ten monkeys that jump on the bed will bump their head- or worse! Doctors have warned again and again about the dangers of jumping on the bed. "No more monkeys jumping on the bed!" they cry again and again and again. The poor mothers of these sock monkeys are constantly on the phone with their doctors trying to solve the problem, but so far it has been to no avail! And the bumping of heads is all that makes the news but it has been reported that some monkeys have had snags in their fabric, loss of stuffing, chipped button eyes and other possible injuries. To date there are no reports of death, but it is only a matter of time.

So, what can you do to help? Join our movement! Help to show these sock monkeys that they are loved and do not have to put themselves at risk for attention! Try these things:

• Give them a good snuggle.
• Play with them on a regular basis.
• Work them into your daily activities. (Sock monkeys LOVE to cook and babysit!)
• Display them proudly around your house. (Client Two's nursery is sock monkey themed!)
• Stop reading and supporting the jumping on the bed books and products.
• Adopt a sock monkey in your favorite pattern today!

Remember, it is never too late to start saving the sock monkeys. Even if you have, unknowingly, put them in danger before, you now know what can be done. So, join me and my clients as we support the Sock Monkey Awareness Initiative. We look forward to your continued support!

     Diversity is key!

**Disclaimer: I shouldn't even have to write this but as people are stupid I feel the need to say that this post is not meant to offend, belittle or take away from any actual causes. Just sayin'.

Role Model

Whether or not we like it, we are definitely role models for our children. They watch everything that we do and they absorb it. This means that as parents we need to keep a close eye on our actions and our words. But this post isn't a lecture. It's just an example of how closely our kids watch us and how they want to be like us.

Client One definitely has that maternal instinct that most little girls have. She loves playing with her dolls and just about every little stuffed animal has become her "baby." She cradles them in her arms, tucks them into their little beds, plays with them and feeds them. But it's how she feeds them sometimes that's funny. 

For anyone that does not know, I am breastfeeding Client Two. Since it is a completely natural process, I do not hide from Client One when I feed Client Two,  so she has seen me feed him multiple times. One day I look over and she has her shirt pulled up with a baby doll press to her chest. When I asked her what she was doing, she informed me that she was feeding her baby, just like I did. Yep. She was breastfeeding her baby doll.

Now, most of the time I just breastfeed like normal, but on occasion when we will be away from the house for a while or somebody else is watching Client Two, I might pump a couple of bottles of milk for him. I had to go back to work when Client One was a baby, so I have a pretty nice pump that makes this convenient. Well, the other day I walked into Client One's room to find her with a little plastic candle that had been on her window at Christmas time. It had a little suction cup on it so it would actually stick to the window. I figured it had probably fallen off behind her bed and when she was supposed to be napping she came across it. I asked her why she had the candel and in response she pulled up her shirt and placed the suction cup on her chest. "I'm pumping milk for my baby, Mommy!" It took every ounce of will-power not to burst out laughing.

I think it's awesome that she is watching me so closely. Of course, soon I will have two pairs of very observant eyes watching my every move and maybe even mimicking me. It's awesome, yet intimidating. In general, I think many parents want their children to take after them. Well, at least they're good traits. And that's the scary part- there are some things I don't want my children to take after me. Nothing drastic or terrifying, I just want them to be better people in general than I feel like I am. Not that I'm a horrible person.  I'm pretty awesome in fact. But I am human and I do make mistakes. Now that I know she's watching so closely, I take extra care and what I say and what I do. I want to be a good example.

3:30 AM

It's 3:30 in the morning and I've been awake with Client Two for a good thirty minutes or so. The ornery little guy just won't go back to sleep. So, I've decided to make a list of all the stuff that's going through my head at this wee hour. 

• He kind of looks like the Michelin Man in just his diaper with all his cute little rolls.

• I paid good money for this stupid dishwasher white noise. Why isn't it working?

• Sweet! Sold more stuff on Facebook.

• Why won't he take his paci? He loves his paci.

• Hubby would hate me if I went and woke him up.

• I bet I can make Mary Had a Little Lamb into a rap.

• I need to oil this glider rocking chair or something. The squeaking is so loud it sounds like there's a mouse stuck in it.

• He's lucky he's cute.

• "Mary had a little lamb whose fleece was white as snow, and everywhere that Mary went the little lamb yelled 'Yo!'"

• Wow that's a bad smell! No wonder he wasn't sleeping!

• I'm going to need to buy diapers soon.

• He pooped. Why is he still awake?

• "It followed her to school one day which was against the rules!"

• It's hot in here. I bet that's why he's not sleeping. Let's turn the air down to 65* and see if that helps. 

• I really want a Chick-Fil-A biscuit right now. 

• "Go Mary! Go Mary! Break it down! Break it down!"

• That sock monkey is looking at me.

• I need to organize his clothes again.

• I need to clean up the nursery. Why is it so messy? Oh, yeah. Life.

• "Go Lambie! Go Lambie! Break it down! Break it down!"

• Is it getting too cold in here? 

• His eyes are closed! Dare I move? No, not yet! I am NOT starting this process over!

• I'll just Google myself really quickly. Yep that's me.

• Okay, he hasn't moved. I'm going to put him in his crib now and pray he stays asleep. 

The Lunchless Friday 13th

I forgot to feed Client One lunch today. Parenting fail. But it's okay, because she did have a pretty decent snack before I put her down for her nap. But let me explain.

Last night, Client One spent the night with my parents, so they were going to bring her home today about 11:00. I had a few errands to run, so we decided to meet at Target instead since it was actually a shorter drive. Well, I started out this morning with every good intention of getting to Target on time, but I had a stop to make first. Barnes and Noble had a book I wanted to get my hubby for Father's Day- Dear Luke, We Need to Talk, Darth by John Moe. I checked online before leaving to make sure they had it in stock, and they did. I figured Client Two and I would pop in really quickly, find it on the Father's Day table and we'd get to Target in plenty of time. I was wrong.

First of all, the book was not on the Father's Day table or any of the New Release tables. (The book just came out June 10th.) Naturally, my next step was to ask the nice people for help, only I couldn't remember the actual name of the book at that time. I gave the poor lady as much info as I could remember but it came up null, so I went in the corner and searched the web on my phone until I found it. I then went back up to the lady and had her look it up. She found it in her computer and took me to the section where it should have been. Not there. She checked her computer again. We were definitely in the right spot. After searching the entire Humor section thoroughly, she double-checked the tables up front. Confused and apologetic, she assured me that her manager should be able to find it as soon as she was done with her customer. I took this opportunity to get a caramel macchiato because at this point (a good 15-20 minutes into my search) I needed it. Coffee in hand, I strolled over to the customer service desk with Client Two to wait on the manager. She came out, looked up the information, assured me there were copies in the back ("We have a big promotion for this book coming up soon!"), and rushed off to the store room. I kept Client Two entertained with his sock monkey toy (he giggled and giggled!) for the 10-15 minutes the manager was gone. When she came back, she looked befuddled. The books were somewhere in the store, but she had no idea where. She apologized profusely. Bookless and late, (but okay with it because I was fully caffeinated) we headed to Target.

When I arrived at Target, I found Client One with my parents happily munching on a bag of popcorn and sipping away at a chocolate drink. I sat down at their table and looked the book up online and reserved a copy at another Barnes and Noble. Then, I rushed through what little shopping I needed to do at Target while she snacked some more. By the time I was done, Client Two was borderline fussy and ready for his feeding and nap, so I convinced my mom to stop by and pick up my reserved copy so I could get the sleepy baby home and feed Client One (oops).

Client Two fell asleep in the car on the way home, which was expected. I carefully carried him inside and set him down in his carrier in the living room. Once inside, Client One found her first halloween costume (a ladybug) and wanted to wear it. I explained to her how it wouldn't fit. Her insistence, of course, woke Client Two. I pulled him out and put him in his swing while Client One and I searched her wearable clothes for a ladybug alternative. We found her fluffy pink dress, but it was all tangled up with some wire mesh stuff. So, we had to untangle it before putting it on. By this time, Client Two was full-on fussy, so I took him back to his room to feed him and put him to sleep. Every time he was also most out, Client One would yell and wake him up. Finally, after about the third or fourth time, I announced it was naptime and I tucked her in. As the door closed behind me and I headed back to put Client Two to sleep again, I realized that I had never actually fed Client One her lunch. 

Clearly, she was full enough from her popcorn snack. If she had not been full, she would have used hunger as an excuse not to nap. She is a pro at those excuses. At dinner she ate her normal single slice of pizza, so her death by starvation had not been imminent. She survived quite happily, never even realizing she missed a meal. (Though her popcorn was eaten around her normal lunchtime so maybe we can just cheat and call that lunch!) 

I'm just going to chalk it up to that fact that it's Friday the 13th. That is the only way to explain this lunchless day.

Book sound interesting to you? Buy it here (so you don't have to go through what I did at the store today!)

Bookworm on Hold

I am a reader. I love books and I have for as long as I can remember. When I was a kid, my mom used to read to me and my brother at night, and she didn't just read us picture books. She read adventures. At only six years old I was introduced to the magical world of Narnia and my life would never be the same. I began finding Adventures of my own. I sailed the seas with Long John Silver and solved mysteries with Nancy Drew. I sailed the river with Huck and scowled up at a Cheshire Cat with Alice. I even ran wild with the horses on Chincoteague (though don't ask me how it's pronounced.) Charlotte the spider taught me about life and Mrs. Frisby the mouse taught me bravery. Laura Ingles taught me about hardship and Anne (of Green Gables) taught me how to grow up. And, of course, Jo showed me how to lose someone you love but still keep going and love life.

All through childhood I read. And as I became an adult I read more. I fell madly in love with Mr. Darcy and even a little with Heathcliff. I laughed at crazy Puck. I even entered into the world of Harry Potter where I knew I wanted to stay forever.

I love books. And I am a good, no great, reader! I can read fast and still retain the story. I read the entire Harry Potter series in a week. (And I do again at least once a year!) So then, why was I intimidated by a 259 page book just the other day? That's nothing! It's minute! Maybe three hours worth of reading. No problem. Except, I don't have three hours. I barely have one. I have two kids now, and, for some reason, they expect things like food.

I miss books! I tried an audio book out of desperation and wanted to reach through  the headphones and strangle the man butchering a good story with a dreary voice and lackluster impressions. It was dreadful. I think it was Christmas when I last read a book all the way through. That's six months! 

Well, that's not entirely true. I read The Little House and Caps for Sale and other picture books to my clients this week. In fact, this week alone we have read just over twenty books together. I know this for sure because we are part of our library's summer reading program so I have to write down every book we read. I read to my clients every day and Client One loves it. She would happily let me read myself hoarse. She "reads," too. She actually sat in front of Client a Two the other day and "read" him a book. 

Books are literally scattered from one end of the house to the other. They are in every room- even the bathroom! (In fact, when we first started potty training Client One, we would let her sit and read and she started trying to go potty just to read her bathroom books.) We love books!

I want desperately to travel to another world, if only I could find the time. 259 pages should be a drop in the bucket for me, half an afternoon, but instead, it's intimidating. How and where can I find the time? So it becomes a snippet here and a snippet there. I'm part of our summer reading program as well. I have to read three books by July 27. I can do this. I think I can. I think I can. I think I can. Sigh. 

I'm a bookworm working hard to cultivate a legacy of bookworms. So far, so good. I just need to hack out some time for adventures of my own. And soon!

Upon Waking Up this Morning

Pretty much my exact thoughts this morning:

Hmm, it's light outside. It's light outside! Is the baby still alive! Yes, he is. Whew. Shoot! He's moving! No, no, no! If I can just sneak away... Yep. There we go. Okay, he's settling back down. Maybe I can get some more rest really quickly. What time is it anyway. 7:30. Wow, they let me sleep in until 7:30. I'm still going to lie down some more. I deserve this after the non-sleeping yesterday.

Now, what day is it? Thursday. That's right- my long day. Oh, wait, we're going to Happy Cow today! Client One will love that! So much fun! And we get ice cream. Mmm, ice cream! Gotta remember to put her in shoes with toes, though because of the muck and stuff. She's not going to like that. She'll want to wear her Crocs. What else did that lady say to do for the tour? Make them go potty, feed them, canceled for bad weather... Oh, Gosh! I hope it doesn't rain! She'll be disappointed if it rains! And we can't go again for weeks. And it's a long drive! Well, longish. Let me check my weather app. 

Oh, look! Someone liked my picture on Facebook! Which picture did I post last night? Oh, yeah! That one. Yep, he's adorable. That's my boy! Oh, and this person liked that C. S. Lewis quote I posted. Maybe that'll teach all the people bashing young adult  books! Ha! Wait. Why did I look at my phone? Right! Weather. Dang it! 30% chance. But that's low, right? So, it probably won't rain. But that's not my luck. Yep, it's so going to rain, but not until we get there. 

I have to pee. Maybe I can sneak past the sleeping ba... Nope. He's awake. Peeing will have to wait until he's changed. 

Hmm, I should blog about this, after I pee.

😄

A Day in the Life

Some people wonder what it's like to be a stay-at-home mom (SAHM). I carefully clean my house so that it constantly looks like a page from an IKEA catalogue before baking healthy, homemade snacks from all-natural ingredients and teaching my clients with brain-boosting activities. Yeah, no. I do have fun with my kids and I try to clean amidst the chaos of life but it's no perfect ideal. I can't vouch for all SAHMs but I think it's exhausting, yet fun and fulfilling. Here's a normal day for me:

7:15-7:30 We wake up. Or rather, Client One wakes up and we feel obligated to follow her example. (I just fear what she'd do if on her own for too long.)

8:00 Breakfast. Sometimes Client One and I make it. Sometimes I pull something from the freezer. Sometimes (like this morning) it's just simple cereal. 

 8:30ish- Get dressed. Sometimes I will go ahead and have Client Two dressed because I'll change him when I change his diaper. But this is generally the time the rest of us get dressed and Client One loves to help! 

8:45ish Play time. Client One and I usually end up in the playroom doing puzzles or building blocks or whatever she wants to do while Client Two watches happily from his Jumper-roo.

9:30ish- Client Two gets a good long feeding and goes down for his morning nap. On some days this is the time we would leave the house for an activity, like the zoo, since Client Two will quietly sleep through most of it and is happily fed. Most days I just get Client One doing some sort of activity while I attempt to clean up. Today, she made a bird feeder from an orange juice carton while I did dishes. 

10:30/11:00 Client Two awakens from his nap. (Actually it's a good day if he'll actually sleep this long because he usually gets woken up.) This leads to more playtime or we go on a quick errand or activity. Today we went to the library.

11:45 Lunch for the clients. Usually something quick and easy. Client One gets to pick from a couple of options and promptly changes her mind as soon as I am done fixing what she requested. She eats anyways. Whenever lunch is finished, Client One just plays.

1:00- Nap/Rest time. Client Two usually goes down more around 12:30 but by 1:00 they are both down. Now I get to eat! And of course clean and pay the bills and do the laundry and all that stuff but mostly Facebook and Netflix. Client Two usually wakes half-way through and insists on finishing his nap in my arms. 

3:00ish They awake and the silence is gone. Client One eats a small snack before playing. We pretty much chill waiting for Daddy. My hubby usually comes home sometime between 3:00 and 4:30.

4:30/5:00 I pass the clients off to hubby and start dinner, trying to make something that everyone will eat, which can be difficult due to the fact Client One's taste buds change on a daily basis. 

5:30ish We eat, often bribing or tricking Client One into eating something. (Since when does she not like chicken?!) 

6:00ish Outside play so I can clean up the dinner mess. Client Two usually takes a quick snooze.

7:00 Client One is allowed 30 minutes of wind-down TV before some quiet play.

8:00 Bath, Book and Bed

8:30 We tell Client One that it really is bed time and to go to sleep.

8:35 We tell Client One that she's not getting another snack and she wouldn't be hungry if she had eaten all her dinner.

8:40 Threaten and bribe Client One to get her back into bed after finding the one stuffed animal that did not make it into her bed.

8:45 Put Client Two back to sleep after he awoken by his sister running down the hallway.

8:50 Get Client One to stop crying because she's "just not tired and so hungry" and get her back in bed. Restart her music.

9:00 Consider going to bed myself.

10:00 Probably head to bed.

And there you have it! That's my typical schedule! (Minus the fits and spills and messes and diaper changes...)

Tiger Stripes

Here's a switch to my normal day- it's 9:00 am and I'm up, showered and dressed in normal (non-pajama) clothes. Client One is still in her pink cat nightgown and Client Two is napping in just a diaper. Usually, Client Two is the first one ready, since I change his clothes when I change his diaper first thing in the morning, but this morning, he seemed more content to be naked. Getting Client One ready can always be a bit of a challenge. Some days she's all for it. Other days you would think I was trying to dismember her bit by bit. On days like today, when we have no plans, I just let her take things slowly. I'll probably try to dress her when I'm done typing, She's just doing such a good job entertaining herself right now.

I'm hoping that maybe if I'm up and ready, I can tackle this day. I'm also hoping that maybe if we ease into it, it won't seem as long as yesterday did. Thursdays are my "long day" because my husband works from 7:00 am- 6:00 pm. On a normal day, he usually goes in at the same time, but gets home around 3:00. This means that on Thursday, I have three extra hours to entertain my clients without his aid. Not a problem, usually. But Client One does often get antsy waiting for her daddy to get home. We usually do an extra craft or baking project on Thursdays to fill the time. Yesterday, Client One found her own way to fill the time.

Like I said, we usually do some crafts on Thursdays. Yesterday we made a crown from a paper plate.

See? Super cute and super easy. Though, notice that it is decorated with markers. Usually, markers are not a problem. We had once incident, nearly a year ago, where some of the toys in her playroom got redecorated and enhanced with a green permanent marker. We had a quick discussion on how markers and crayons and pencils are only for coloring in coloring books or on paper. The message seemed to stick. But then this happened:

Yep. She used a blue marker to draw "tiger stripes" all over her body. They are even under her shirt. When she did this, I was feeding Client Two back his room, getting ready to put him down for his nap. We had another good long talk about not drawing on ourselves before taking a bath that turned the the water very blue. She still has some faint marks this morning.

I guess that's just life with a three-year-old. I guess I should be grateful she's creative. I know my mom appreciated it because I was the same way when I was Client One's age.

Hopefully, just maybe, today will be a bit more relaxing.

The Dishwasher's Lullaby

The other night, or rather early one morning, Client Two was awake. And I don't mean the barely awake because he wants to eat awake. I mean he was giggling and cooing. It was just a little after 3:00 am and I was tired. Client One had already woken up twice with nightmares, so my sleep pattern was even more interrupted than usual.

Now, I knew Client Two had to be tired, it was just a matter of convincing him that he was. I tried all the usual stuff- nursing, singing, rocking- but nothing seemed to be having any sort of effect. In fact, it seemed as if everything I did only woke him up more. Then, I pulled out my handy-dandy iPhone.

Now, if you'll recall in my previous post about nap time, I mentioned that Client Two is often lulled to sleep by the dishwasher. Honestly, the dishwasher works like 90% of the time in putting Client Two to sleep. That's where my iPhone came in. I got on iTunes and found a couple of albums fully devoted to white noise for babies- all with dishwashing sounds. I found one reasonably priced and put the song on a loop. It wasn't five minutes later that he was out like a light.

White noise is a highly effective way to lull a baby to sleep. When a baby is still in the womb, he has the constant drum of a heartbeat so it only makes sense that similar sounds would have a calming effect once he is born. For Client One we downloaded thirty minutes of vacuum cleaner sounds. She was a colicky baby and that stupid vacuum cleaner was just about the only thing that would calm her. 

Honestly, I think it's weird that household appliances can work such magic. But I'm not going to argue, because I like my sleep. 

Alone Time

Yep. I was that mom casually strolling the aisles at Target last night with a box of diapers slung over my shoulder. You may have seen me smiling softly as I perused the clearance racks. I was dressed in my comfy mom jeans and oversized tourist t-shirt. I think my hair was brushed. But to be honest, I didn't care how I looked because I was alone. No fussy baby reminding me it's been a couple hours since he's eaten. No toddler screaming that she has to go potty RIGHT NOW. No chasing kids down the aisles. It was peaceful.

Now, while Target is awesome, it's not ideal alone time. But, seeing as how I rarely get any alone time, I'll take the diaper run. Since Client Two was born I think I have had four accounts of true alone time. One was another quick trip to the store and Two were visits to the dentist. 😁 Now, my husband and I have had at least two date nights where we were free of both little darlings and I went to a movie with my mom on Mother's Day, but I wasn't alone. Sometimes I just need it to be me and maybe a barista and a book.

I love my clients. I really do. But they are a lot to handle every hour of every day. They wear me out! Tomorrow night, Client One will spend the night with my mom, like she does every Friday, and I think I will leave the boys home. I'm going to book it up to Barnes and Noble, grab a latte or mocha and dive into a book. That is, assuming I can still figure out how to read a book that's not made up of cheesy rhymes accompanied by bright pictures. I'm going to take some time for me. I need it to stay sane. Trust me- it's for the best. 

Baby Entertainer?

Client Two is at that awkward stage right now where he's sort of interested in playing but not really able to play yet. He watches everything with interest but is still terribly uncoordinated. He tries his best to use his hands to get toys and other items to his mouth. He loves when you sing to him and sometimes he even tries to sing along. He can wiggle and scoot a little bit. He's really good at holding his head up nice and high and he can kick like a horse. But most of the time he pretty much just lies there watching me. I feel as if I should put on some sort of show on a regular basis, just to keep him entertained. But with a toddler running around this just not possible.

Honestly, I try to find time to play with both of my clients, but, let's face it, Client One is usually a lot easier and more fun to play with. She can actually do things besides lie there and giggle at her feet. You can only play peekaboo and "boop the nose" so many times before you just get tired of doing it. Client Two is usually quiet and content to be the silent observer as we go through our day, but sometimes I still feel guilty I don't play with him enough. And he's a heavy little fellow! I wish I could carry him around more but my back protests. I put him in his Jumper-roo and his swing and surround him with toys every time I set him down. He rarely complains. Instead he concentrates on grabbing a toy to gum to death.

I know that as he gets older he'll be more playful and easier to play with. He will have interests in specific things. One day I can't even let him watch TV with Client One without feeling guilty about delaying his brain development or whatever they say TV does to babies. Soon he will even be mobile and he will be able to get his own toys and entertain himself better. That day will be here before I know it. But until then, I have to struggle to find that balance between playing with him and letting him lie there and observe.