Day One of Christmas Fun!

This morning we woke to find it dreary and rainy outside. I think that if it's going to be precipitating outside this close to Christmas it should at least be snow, but no one asked me. Despite the weather, we still had a pretty great day!

When we woke up, we found that our Elf on the Shelf, Bell, had returned! He had taken a pink piece of sidewalk chalk and written a message on the wall. He also brought the kids each a new pair of Elf pajamas! Client One took the liberty of reminding her little brother of all the rules that went with the Elf. She was also extra careful to be good today and gave constant warnings to her brother whenever he started to act up. Client One also had several conversations with Bell and she drew him a picture.

After we adjusted to be watched by an elf all day, it was time to get dressed in our fun Christmasy tees and open the door on our penguin. Since Client One was the biggest and strongest, she got to open the door and Client Two got to pull out the paper. Today's little red slip told us to write letters to Santa. We raced into the kitchen (We literally raced. Client One won.) and immediately wrote our letters. Since Client Two has yet to learn to write, we drew a picture of what he wanted using a loose, artistic interpretation and I wrote down his list for him. Client One had a better handle on the list writing. I helped her with the spelling of the items on her list and she even added a picture for clarification. When the lists were completed, we showed them to Bell and asked him politely if he would take them to Santa for us tonight.

Throughout the day, we had lots of fun listening and dancing to Christmas music. When we got to the end of the days, both kids got warm baths before snuggling into their new Elf jammies. (Client One had to model her pajamas for Bell.) Then, they selected and unwrapped a new Christmas book. Tonight, they chose a book called "Home for Christmas" by Jan Brett. Jan Brett books have beautiful illustrations so they are always a favorite. Both kids crawled up in their daddy's lap while he read the story. Client Two got a bit antsy before the story was over and ended up in bed. Client One finished up the book a little bit later when she went to bed.

So that was our first day of Christmas fun! I can't wait to see what fun tomorrow brings! 

Ready or Not! Here Christmas Comes!

Today is the last day in November. This means that tomorrow is December 1st and Christmas is right around the corner. Usually, we don't bring out any decorations or listen to any Christmas music until after Thanksgiving, but this year, I confess, we started a little early. We've been dancing to Christmas music for a couple weeks now and our decorations have been down out of the attic for at least as long. I did a quick photoshoot with my phone in the garage so I could order my Christmas cards online, so we had to get down the decorations. Of course, my Grinch-y husband wouldn't let me put any up until this past weekend. But now, despite us all having nasty colds all weekend, most of the inside decorations are up and we are ready for Christmas! But the real Christmas fun starts tomorrow. Because tomorrow, we start some of my favorite Christmas traditions.

The first tradition that we love is our advent/ countdown penguin. He's a big wooden penguin with doors numbered 1-25. Of course, the idea is to open one little door each day to find a treat and countdown to Christmas. I bought him years ago, before we even had kids and Hubby and I used to open him up and enjoy a piece of candy each day. But now that we have kids, I stick something else behind the doors. I cut up pieces of red and green construction paper into little strips and write Christmasy things to do on each. Every morning, we open up the tiny door and pull out the paper. Most of the activities are simple things like "Do a Christmas craft" or "dance to Christmas music." Others, like picking out a tree or visiting Santa, have to be planned ahead. Either way, it's a lot of fun and not only does it help us countdown to Christmas but it also keeps up in the Christmas spirit with fun traditions!

Another tradition that we start tomorrow is our book countdown. Each night, right up until Christmas, the kids will get to unwrap a new Christmas themed book each night. Their daddy usually reads them a bedtime story every night anyways, but the Christmas books just add to the fun! Most of the books we reuse from year to year but we do try to add new ones to the selection each year. This year, we've added some fun books that I know everyone is going to love and I can't wait!

And, of course, another tradition is Elf on the Shelf. I know the Elf gets a lot of hate, but we love him. Yes, he can be a bit creepy at times, but he's lots of fun. Now, our Elf, Bell, isn't a naughty or messy elf. I have two kids that make enough messes with a stuffed elf causing more for me to clean up. Instead, Bell finds fun, creative places to hang out and, when the kids have been good, he brings little treats and gifts from the North Pole. We received a special package in the mail today from Bell. It contained a little note from him as well as his book so we could be prepared for his return tomorrow. I honestly have a ton of fun coming up with ideas for our Elf and most of the things I do with him are fairly simple. You can check out what Bell did last year by checking out my post from last year.

So, the Christmas season is upon us and I couldn't be happier! I love Christmas and all the traditions it brings! I will try to update with a new post every day (most simple and to the point) so everyone can share in our fun traditions and Elf adventures. I will at least post a couple pictures to Instagram each day. (You can follow me on Instagram under @adlewis09 or @mylifeasasahmom or search for one of the following hashtags to find our adventures: #mylifeasasahmom #sahmomChristmasFun #adventuresofbell2015.)

Happy Christmasing!

The Thing about Dress Codes

We are almost halfway through another school year. While this doesn't really apply to me as no one in my household is attending school right now, there are many people out there who are eagerly anticipating Christmas break. Of course, some of those students are whiny little brats who just want to be free from the horrors of their school dress codes. In fact, it seems that a week can't go by without a so-called "news story" coming across my feed declaring the unfairness of yet another school dress code and how it's ruining the life of some poor high school student. Every time I see one of these stories I roll my eyes. I went to a Christian private school and our dress code was a lot stricter than most of the dress codes these poor souls have to put up with. And, Baby, if I found a way to survive, so can they.

But let's get a few things straight about dress codes:

1) They are rules and if you break them you have to suffer the consequences. It does not matter if you and your friend and even your parents think the dress code is stupid. It does not matter for what reasons you think the dress code is stupid. It is a rule and if you break it, you get whatever punishment is set in place. There are some rules that I find stupid as an adult, but I still have to follow them. One example is the speed limit. If the speed limit on a road is 30 but I feel that 45 is a safe speed limit and I go 45, I can get a ticket. If caught speeding, I will have to pay a fine. It does not matter that the road is all down-hill and I would have to ride my brakes to go that speed. It does not matter that I'm in a hurry. It does not matter what I feel is a safe speed. What matters is that a rule, or in this case a law, was broken and I am responsible for whatever penalties come with breaking that rule. So, if there's a dress code and you violate it for whatever reason, you broke a rule and your deserve the penalties.

2) Dress codes are not personal vendettas to bring down certain students. Look, I've been to high school and college. I know that some teachers have favorites and least favorites and I know that sometimes they can react unfairly in certain situations. Some kids get away with murder while others get brought up on every tiny infraction. But here's the thing- if you don't break the dress code rules, you won't get caught for breaking the dress code. If you do break the dress code and you get caught, you are still getting in trouble for something you did wrong. It doesn't matter that Mr. Whatchmacallem hates you and that he let Suzie get away with the same dress code violation. Yes, it's unfair, but don't break the dress code and you won't have to worry about it. But even though that form of injustice happens on occasion, it's the reason behind every student who gets in trouble. Sometimes it's just a matter of the student breaking the dress code rule and getting busted. Sometimes the same student gets busted multiple times and yet they complain that they're being treated unfairly instead of actually fixing the problem. Einstein, I believe, was the one who said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results, and that man was pretty smart.

3) Dress codes are not all misogynistic. Yes, in general, girls often have more dress code rules than boys, but boys do have dress codes, too. The only ones that seem to whine about the unfairness of dress codes are girls, though. They are the one that throw temper tantrums and hissy fits on social media. That's one of the reasons I preferred guy friends over girl friends most of my life. Girls are whiny and they love a good cat fight. But you know what? Girls have more dress code rules because they have  more to worry about. We have boobs. (Shocker, I know.) And boys like boobs. They like to look at them and think about them and think about what they want to do with them and to them. And if a girl shows up to class that boy is going to have a really hard time concentrating on how to find X if he's looking at boobs. And, yes, I know boys should learn to control themselves, but really, it's tough! You throw a bunch of boys going through puberty and dealing with fresh sexual urges into a room full of girls in short skirts with low-cut tops and even the best of teens would have trouble concentrating and controlling their urges. Some guys get easily turned on by a sexy pair of legs or a nice butt and clothes that emphasize those body parts can cause a girl to be distracting. And, I'll be honest with you, if a hot guy had come into my classroom when I was in high school I would have had a hard time contracting if the hot guy had taken off his shirt. You can find X on your own cuz I'm checking out the hot guy and wondering what it would be like to kiss him. Shoot, a guy wears a tight pair of pants, my imagination would probably start to run wild. Visions of a combination of High School Musical and Magic Mike would be playing in my head. I had a hard enough time not worrying about boys when they were fully dressed and boys I knew had the same problem not thinking about girls who were completely covered with parkas. So, yes, girls might get the short end of the stick when it comes to dress code but, let's face it, we are super sexy.

4) School is not a fashion club. How often do students whine that the clothes that are "in" or that they like don't fit the dress code? Yeah, it sucks that you can't wear whatever you want, but that's life. When you graduate from school chances are you will one day get a job with a dress code. I worked at a place for almost nine years where I had to wear a uniform. It was ugly and somewhat uncomfortable, but if I showed up without it on I would either get sent home without pay to change or would have been given a temporary uniform to borrow for the day. School dress codes are just preparing you for that day. And if you don't like the dress code, you don't have to follow it when you're not at school. You can wear whatever you want after before school, after school, on the weekends, on breaks and all summer long. Your school's dress code does not have to define you but it does get to tell you what you can't wear during those few school hours every day. Suck it up.

5) Any infraction, no matter how minute, is still breaking the rules. If the rule book says that a shoulder strap or sleeve on a shirt must be three inches and yours is two inches, you broke the rule. If a skirt or a pair of shorts can't be more that three inches above the knee and yours are five, you broke a rule. It does not matter that you barely broke a rule, you still broke it. It's just like with speeding. It does not matter if you are gong 50 over the speed limit or 5 over, you are still speeding and can still get a ticket. When I was in high school, one of our rules was that a top could not be more lowcut that three finger-widths or show cleavage. I have fairly large boobs and even some tops that fit the finger rule still showed cleavage. It made it hard to find tops. It really did. I also have long legs, making it difficult to find skirts that fit correctly lengthwise. I had friends who were almost the same height as me who could war the exact same skirt and not break the rule but when I put it on it was technically too short. But I suffered through and found appropriate clothes and managed to graduate without needing counseling from the oppressive rules.

In conclusion, yes dress codes can totally suck. They might not be fun at all. You might hate them, but you still have to follow them. If you feel a dress code is particularly unfair, the way to express that feeling is not by breaking it but by discussing it with someone in authority who might be willing to address the issue. And the parents are just as much to blame when something goes awry. Parents, don't rush to your little snowflake's side declaring how ridiculous the infraction is. Take said snowflake out and find some new clothes that fit the dress code. When you kid starts school, check the rule book and make sure the clothes you buy fit the dress code. It's really not that hard.

A rule is a rule, no matter how dumb. So follow it or face the consequences. And please, please, please keep your dress code issues off of social media and don't report them as a news story. Just don't. It just shows how petty and bratty you are.

Mission Jack-O-Lantern

When I was  a kid, carving a pumpkin into a Jack-o-lantern was simple and easy. We would swing by the grocery store and pick out the biggest pumpkin we could carry. Visions of Linus and Lucy rolling the pumpkin out of the pumpkin patch would play in our heads as we would haul the pumpkin inside. We would then grab a handful of newspapers (because those were commonplace in every house back then) and spread them across the span of the dining room table. One of my parents would grab a huge knife from the kitchen and hack a hole in the top so we could pull out the guts. I hated the feeling of the slimy pumpkin so I could rarely be convinced to help. Next, we would grab a sharpie and draw a face on our pumpkin. Usually, this face consisted of two triangle eyes, a triangle nose and a boxy mouth consisting of a few square teeth. Then, whichever parent was helping, would grab that massive knife and do their best to cut out the face. If the mouth was too detailed, they made up their own patten. When it was done, we would happily burn our little fingers sticking an actual candle down inside to make our Jack-o-lantern glow.

But that's not how it works anymore. No Siree! You have to have a Pinterest perfect pumpkin to post on Facebook for all your friends to Ooh! and Ahhh! over. And you better not use a real candle because your little snowflake might burn his wittle fingers! Instead, you buy a cute, fake, battery operated, flickering candle from the dollar section at Target. 

I remember Client One's first and second Halloweens. She got that traditional pumpkin face. It was simple and basic and she didn't care. I can remember seeing the emerging pumpkins of awesomeness scattered across my facebook feed and thinking, "Wow. These people clearly have way too much time on their hands!" But when Client One's third Halloween rolled around, we had jumped on the bandwagon. Her pumpkin was no longer just a boring face that any amatuer with a kitchen knife could do. It was a carefully crafted scene with a cat wearing a witch hat, sitting next to a jack-o-lantern with a bat flying above. It consisted of painstakingly tracing a pattern on the pumpkin and using special tools to create the picture. In the end, she loved it and we were worthy to post the picture on Facebook.

Last year, Client Two got the boring, traditional face. It seemed like a good, classic first pumpkin. Plus, he couldn't have cared less. Client One, however, was fully opinionated. Having tasted the glory of an amazing pumpkin the previous year, she needed an equally impressive jack-o-lantern. Luckily, we had found a Disney princess pumpkin decorating kit at Target. Of course, she picked out an intricate design of Cinderella in her sweeping ballgown with the castle in the background. She happily gutted her pumpkin and was eager to help out as her daddy did all the hard work. When it was done, we had two decent pumpkins and at least one was worthy of the Facebook post.

This year, we decided to go easy on ourselves. Instead of carefully tracing an intricate design onto each of their pumpkins, we picked out some simple stencils. Client Two picked out the eyes, nose and mouth he wanted for his pumpkin (and he was very enthusiastic about it, even though he really had no idea what was going on) and Client One picked out a simple stencil of a cat. Client One was more than happy to gut her pumpkin, but Client Two was very hesitant. He did NOT like the slimy guts. (That's my boy!) Once the pumpkins were properly gutted, hubby and I grabbed the official pumpkin carving tools from the previous years and went to work. I cut out Client Two's pumpkin face and Hubby turned Client One's pumpkin into a picture of a cat. When we were done, both clients were quite satisfied.

Having gained their approval, I felt confident enough to post the pictures online. So far, I have received an appropriate amounts of "likes" so I know we did okay. 

Mission Jack-O-Lantern: Complete.

Find me on Steller for more pictures and fun! 

Let the Halloween Fun Begin!

If I had to choose a favorite season, it would be Fall. There are so many things I love about it. I love waking up to the cool, crisp mornings. I love all the beautiful colors of all the leaves on the trees. I also love that everything comes in pumpkin flavor. But one of the great things that happens in Fall is Halloween.

When I was a kid, Halloween wasn't really a big deal in our house. Sometimes we would dress up in whatever costume my mom had made us and we would go with our next-door neighbors to the few houses in our neighborhood that were handing out candy. A couple of years we went to a festival at our church. But most of the time. our Halloweens were spent sitting at home watching a movie, wondering if anyone was actually going yo stop by our house and trick-or-treat.

My husband had a very difference experience. Part of his childhood was spent in a little Southern town where everyone went all out for Halloween. When I envision his experience, I see a long country road, lit up with Halloween decorations and porch lights, with children of all in ages in all sorts of costumes running up and down and back and forth, swinging their pillow cases full ow candy. It's a picturesque scene right from an old movie. And that's pretty much the way he describes it as his eyes glaze over with the happy memories of Halloween as a kid.

Our very different experiences mash together in creating what our kids will remember as their Halloween. I wish I could have had a bit more fun and craziness at Halloween and Hubby wants to pass on all the fun he had. Unfortunately, we live in a small, boring neighborhood much like the one I grew up in. This is great for the crime rate but nit great for trick-or-treating. On Halloween night we will still go door to door and collect a decent amount of treats from the five or six houses that will give out stuff but we do most of our fun Halloweening at different Halloween events around town. Tonight, we participated in our first fun Halloween event- Boo in the Zoo.

We have done Boo in the Zoo every year since Client One's second Halloween. (She wasn't quite 6 months old at her first Halloween so she wasn't really into all the fun stuff.) Usually, we go with friends, but this year it was just us. This year, Client One was a 50's girl in a poodle skirt. It was her dance costume this past year, so we decided it could get some more use. I made her some cute saddle shoes from some cheap white canvas shoes from Walmart by drawing on them with a black Sharpie so her outfit was complete and cheap. (Well, not cheap, really. The costume was a bit pricey but we had it on hand so it was no extra money.) Cient Two went as a Greaser in his white t-shirt, black jeans, black leather jacket and his black Converse All-Stars. I even slicked back his hair. Together, they made an adorable duo,

This year, the zoo provided a shuttle from a nearby location so the zoo parking lot wouldn't be quite so overrun. Of course, since we took advantage of this service, the busses were given the wrong schedule so we had to hang out in the parking lot a little longer than anticipated, but it was okay. Client One made some new friends and Client Two had fun doing whatever his sister was doing. And when the trolley did swing by and pick us up, both were thrilled for the special ride.

Having been previous years, we knew to buy our tickets ahead of time so we were in the short, fast line to get in. We went right as the even started, so many of the animals were actually still awake. As we wove our way through the zoo ahead of the larger portion of the crowd waiting in a looooong line to get it, we made stops at our favorite animals. Client One loves the giraffes and leopards the best, so, of course, they got prolonged visits. Client Two loves all the animals. The Ocelot was jumping around and playing, so both clients were pretty happy with him. Client Two even gave him a clap or two.

Along the way, there were other little things to do beside look at the animals. They had plenty of places set up where kids could have their pictures taken. Everywhere you looked were fun cutouts or blow-up decorations. They also had a Clemson Tiger walking around and greeting kids and some princesses. Client Two is always wary of these people all dressed up (as he should be), but Client One always gets excited when there are princesses involved.

Of course, the main attraction of Boo in the Zoo is the trick-or-treating. As you go through the zoo, they have the path clearly marked with big orange arrows. There are tables set up and sponsored by different companies and groups and each of the tables provide the kids with goodies. I really appreciate the fact that they majority of what they give out isn't actually candy. Tonight, my kiddos got little coloring pads, cups, and several little toys, Sure, they're mostly junky toys that will get lost or broken, but I'd rather have that over candy. We also got a few coupons to different restaurants around town.

All in all, we had a good first night of Halloween fun. This upcoming week will bring even more fun and we can't wait!

A Nosey Tale

Well, it's official. I can go ahead and mark another item off the long list of parenting.

You know, when you're pregnant you hear lots of things. People are ready and willing to give you advice (whether or not you want it or asked for it) and they are prepared to regale you with all the stories they had raising their children. When we found out that Client Two was going to be a boy, people, predictably, chimed in with their "raising a boy" stories. None of these stories shocked me much since I have brother and witnessed him play out many of these types of tales. One of the things people told me was to be prepared to visit the Emergency Room. Well, it's happened. Last night, we went to the ER.

It started off as a pretty typical afternoon. Client Two was gleefully playing with a red ball. He would throw it and chase it around. Since he was content, I sat down at the computer in the same room to print off a few items. The next thing I know, he's coming up to me, fussing away. It took me a minute to realize that something about his nose was bothering him. A quick peek up his nostril made it appear that he just had a big booger, so I grabbed a tissue to get it out. When he screamed and thrashed trying to get away, I realized that something was amiss. It was no booger. It was as little, plastic bead.

I knew there was no way I was getting that sucker out on my own, so I called in reinforcement. Luckily, my mother-in-law lives right across the street. She came on over with a pair of tweezers and helped me fight the struggling toddler in an attempt to dislodge the bead, but our attempts proved futile. In fact, the combination of our efforts and his exuberant sniffing caused the bead to travel a little farther up into his nose. The next step was the doctor.

A quick call to a nearby Urgent Care facility let us know that they could help us out. So, Hubby and I loaded the fussy toddler into the car and headed up the road while Client One stayed behind to get some quality time with her "Frandma." We easily checked in and filled out all the information forms we need to before heading back to see a doctor. By this time, Client Two's poor little eyes was all watery and his face was a little red. A friendly nurse came in and weighed the poor little guy and checked his temperature, informing us that stuff like this was not at all unusual. While we waited for the doctor, Client Two played happily at a colorful little table in the corner and "read" a couple of the little books they provided.

When the doctor was ready, we set Client Two up on a table. He held his blankie pretty securely. The doctor looked up Client Two's nose and felt pretty optimistic since he could still see the bead. A nurse held Client Two's hands while I held his feet and the doctor went to work. He pulled out a little hook tool and tried to remove the bead, but it didn't seem to help. Next we tried to blow the bead out. That didn't work either. Then we went back to the hook thing, still to no avail. Then the doctor whipped out a handy, dandy sucker machine to suck the bead out, Nope. By this time, Client Two's nose had started to bleed just a smidgen and he was in hysterics. The doctor then referred us to the Emergency Room.

 My mom was nearby the hospital so she met us outside the ER. We went on in and gave our reason for being there and they directed us to the Pediatric ER where we were put on a waiting list to check in.

That tiny waiting room was packed full of snotty nosed kids from babies to teens. After about 45 minutes to an hour of waiting, we were finally checked in and put on the official list to wait for a room to see an ER doctor. The check-in nurse got all our important information put into the computer and then glumly informed us that there were 16 people in line in front of us. The longest part of our wait began. By the time we checked in, it was almost 7:00 pm- Client Two's bed time. And he hadn't had dinner yet. We pacified him with fruit bites and water for a bit while trying to keep him from getting too unruly. A nice dad in the waiting room was happy to let Client Two play with his keys for a bit. While I waited, I played a game in my head which I named "Guess Why the Kid is in the ER." Some of the kids were obviously ill or hurt, like the toddler coughing his guts out and the kid with gauze taped over his eye. Others seemed perfectly fine. (And those kids who seemed fine actually ended up leaving an hour or so into their wait, so I guess they couldn't have been too badly off.) One other mom who was there with her 16 year old son was clearly playing this game in her head as she watched Client Two race around. "What's he here for?" she asked, striking up a little conversation. "I'm assuming he probably stuck something up his nose?" She had all the look of a "Been there, done that" mom. For five long hours we waited, passing the time with conversation, a movie playing that had no volume, some games on iPads hooked to the wall, chips and coffee from vending machines and chasing around an exhausted, grumpy toddler.

Finally, a little after 11:00 pm they called us back. They took us to a small room about the size of a closet that had a small bed, tv and some medical equipment. A nurse gave Client Two a cute little gown to put on and put a hospital bracelet on his ankle. While we waited for the actual ER doctor, we flipped on the TV and it seemed to entertain Client Two for awhile. At least this TV had volume that we could hear.

When the doctor came in, he checked Client Two's nose and quickly found the bead. Using a little metal hook tool (a lot like the one at the other doctor's but a little smaller) he pulled the bead out in about 30 seconds while the nurse and I held Client Two down. It was a snotty, yellow bead. We scooped up Client Two and comforted him while the nurse went to process the discharge papers. Client Two got VERY upset when we made him take off the gown. I think he thought it was pajamas and, seeing how it was past 11:30 by this time, he was ready for bed. The nurse made it all better when she returned with not the discharge papers but a big, stuffed Pluto dog.

It was a long night. It's a story that I now get to tell to other parents so we can commiserate together the difficulties of parenting. It's a "I never had this happen until I had a boy" story. And it's something I'll cool with never happening again. Been there, done that.

Boys and Girls and Neutrality! Oh My!

The craziest thing happened the other day when I was browsing the kids' clothes at Target. This employee came up to me, and held a gun to my head and demanded to know if the boy's clothes I was looking at were really for a boy. The employee showed up again when I was in the girls section and demanded to know if I was really shopping for a little girl. I thought this was a little odd, but after confirming each time that I was indeed purchasing clothes from the appropriate section for the appropriate gender, I was allowed to continue my shopping. I decided to take a trip down the toy aisles next and see if there were any good deals on toys that maybe I could set aside for Christmas. I must admit I was a bit surprised to once again be questioned by an employee every time I picked up a toy. "Is that for a girl?" he asked. "Because My Little Ponies and Barbies are for girls only." I nodded and moved to the next aisle. "That truck better be for a boy!" he declared once again. Foregoing the toys I wandered through the rest of the store grabbing the other items I needed and then headed to the registers. When I started checking out, the lady behind the register asked for visual proof that I was purchasing the clothes for children of the appropriate gender. I had to pull out my phone and show her pictures of my children to prove that I had one boy and one girl at home and that I had purchased the correct type of clothing.

Did you believe that? Probably not. I hope not, because it obviously isn't true. No one would care if the clothes or toys that I went to buy for girls or boys. No one would deny me a purchase if I dained to buy my son a doll or my daughter a t-shirt from the boys section. But yet, there is a war on genders. People react with hostility at the idea that there are boy sections and girl sections. Right now, everyone seems to be up in arms over a stupid police costume that was made for little girls.

This police costume is a simple blue dress with leggings and boots. It's definitely not a traditional uniform, but neither is it sexualizing the little girls. It's not too short, or low cut and it's not formfitting. It's just a dress. The boy version, on the other hand, looks like a real uniform. I see no problem with this. Do you know why? If you don't want to buy the girly, dress version, you can buy the other version. Who cares if it is marketed for boys? No one is forcing you to buy the girly version. BUT some little girls, my very own included, would prefer the dress version. My daughter loves to twirl and curtsy. She would find the realistic version very boring and probably wouldn't even consider wearing it. In fact, she would wear a sparkly tutu just about every day if she could. This is what we call having options. I can't claim to know the situation of every single family out there, but I highly doubt any of the children wanting these costumes are actually planning on fighting crime. They probably aren't even planning on giving out a single parking ticket or catching jaywalkers. It's a costume for playing pretend so it does not need to look like or function like a real uniform in order for a child to enjoy wearing it.

These days, everybody is ready to pull out their soapboxes and try to destroy gender stereotypes. They want everything to be gender neutral. They want all the blocks to be primary colors and nothing to be labeled separately for girls and boys. And that works great for some families. Some families have kids that don't fit into those stereotypes. They have girls that want to dress up like knights and boys that want to be princesses. And you know what, that's great for them, but they have to realize that not every child is like their child. I have a daughter who loves princesses, and sparkles, and ponies. She is all sugar and spice and everything nice.  I have a son who loves machines and cars and dinosaurs. He is 100% dirt, snails and puppydog tails. That doesn't mean that my son doesn't sometimes slip on his sister's bracelet and play with a doll or that my daughter doesn't like playing with a train set or dressing up like a superhero. It simply means that 75% of the time, I have children that fall into the typical stereotypes for girls and boys, so when you try to erase everything that makes things girly or boyish and try to make it all neutral, you are taking away their options. Everyone wants to fight for the kids who want gender neutral stuff but no one wants to fight for the kids that want to fit into a specific group. By erasing everything that is gender specific, you are erasing options.

 Let's face it, what works for my family may not work for yours and what works for your family may not work for mine. Let's stop pretending that it does. Let's stop trying to change everything to fit one agenda. Instead of taking away options, and colors and deigns, add more. Add a third costume that is a happy compromise. Add an aisle that is green for toys, like blocks, that aren't specifically for boys or girls. But do not try to take away and destroy something just because it doesn't work for you. If you don't like something, don't buy it. If you want to buy your daughter an outfit from the boys section, do it. If you want to buy your son a doll, go for it. BUT forcing children to play with or wear something that they really don't want to is just as bad as not allowing children to play with or wear something they want. In fact, it may even be worse because you are taking away their freedom to choose. And if the kids start choosing less and less stereotypical stuff because it's not what they want, it will fade out all on its own. Companies won't make products that don't sell for very long because they want to turn a profit, which means that if a product is out there, someone, like my kids, want it.

So, let me be clear. If your son wants to dress up like Elsa for Halloween, that's your money and your choice. I don't have to like it or support it. And if my daughter wants to dress up like a girly cop instead of the realistic version, that's my money and my choice. You don't have to like or support it. You don't judge me and I don't judge you. Variety is the spice of life and when we take variety, choices and options out of everything, life is bland, boring and not very satisfying. Calm down and chill. You keep making your purchases and I'll keep making mine and the toy companies and the the clothing companies will keep making products to make us both happy.  I won't give a rat's ass about your purchases and you keep your nose out of mine. Sound good?

Fourteen Years Ago Today

Fourteen years ago today, our nation was attacked. I can hardly believe that it has been fourteen years because so many details of that day are seared into my brain. There was so much devastation. I was only in ninth grade at the time, but I felt the effects. I remember the silence in the skies that followed. I remember every station on tv playing footage. I remember and I will never forget.

It started out as a normal day. Men and women woke up and gathered their bags, preparing for a normal flight. Men and women grabbed their Starbucks and bagels and headed on into work. Pilots and flight attendants prepared for a routine flight. Husbands and wives woke up and went about their day, not realizing that their loved ones would never walk back through the door. Children went off to school, never to see one of their parents again. No one knew. No one was prepared. But it happened anyways.

The first plane hit and people gathered around, marveling in horror at the "accident" that had occurred. Then, as people watched, a second plane crashed. It was not accident. Not anymore. We had been attacked and we knew it. Firefighters rushed in, risking their own lives for the lives of people they had never met and Police Officers rushed in to save lives. The United States banded together. We pulled out our American flags and flew them high. Red, White and Blue splashed across every surface all around our nation. We cursed those who had attacked us and prayed for those who were most affected by the act of terrorism. They had meant to make us weak, but instead they made us strong.

But that was Fourteen years ago,

Now, police, even the good ones, are sought out and attacked. Their lives are threatened even more and people shoot them in the back and cheer. They are mocked and hated. They aren't seen as heroes as they were on that terrible day fourteen years ago. Now they are the targets. The flag that once flew high, uniting a nation, now gets stomped on beneath the feet of protesters and ruffians and thugs. You can't even say, "God bless America" without being told to be quiet lest you offend someone. Children are allowed to sit down and refuse to pledge the flag in school every morning.

What has happened? Have we really forgotten that day? Has too much time passed? Have we lost all respect?

My children were born years after that horrible day, but I will tell them about it. I will raise them to respect their flag, their country and their God.My daughter may be only four but she already knows the Pledge of Allegiance by heart. She even says "under God." They will both recognize and respect the flag and what she stands for. They will be taught about the lives that were lost fighting for our freedom. They will know our history. I teach my children that police are HEROES, because they are. Just because they aren't running into burning buildings and pulling people from rubble on national TV like they were fourteen years ago does not mean that they do not risk their lives for us every day. They deserve our respect.

I remember that day and the chills I felt all those years ago return. I remember the fear I felt. I remember the pride I felt. I remember the anger. I remember, and I will never forget.

Will you?

Why the Toddler Stage Is My Favorite

I absolutely love the toddler stage, specifically the early toddler stage leading up to age two. Most parents of toddlers would look at me like I am crazy, but I can't help it! I love it! I really don't even mind the terrible twos! (Though, if you think the twos are terrible just wait until you get to age three. Yikes!) Even when I worked at a daycare my favorite rooms were the toddler room, the two-year room (newly or almost two-year-olds), and the two-and-a-half room. This age is just so fun! And it just so happens that this is the age range that Client Two is in right now. Having been through it once already with Client One has only reaffirmed my love for this age since I have seen firsthand what comes next. (So far, it does NOT get easier with age.) But just in case you disagree, here are the top ten reasons why this stage is my favorite so far:

1. They are still innocent. Toddlers screw up a lot. They dump boxes of cereal onto the floor and stick things into light sockets. They make messes and mistakes. But a lot of what they do isn't done out of spite or disobedience. They are still learning the difference between right and wrong. They are still learning how to follow orders and obey. So when they climb on top of the table and dump an entire bag of chips out onto the floor (true story) it wasn't done in purposeful defiance of you saying "No more snacks." I'm not saying they don't purposely start testing you or pushing the rules, but so much of their being bad is just from their lack of understanding and innocence. The deliberate evil is just around the corner, though.
   
2. They make everything look cute.And I mean everything. It doesn't matter if they are covered in glitter or poop. You can dress them in anything and they can pull it off. And have you ever seen a toddler eat a cookie? I never knew someone eating could be so darn adorable. They are even cute when they throw fits. It might not be quite so cute when the fit comes in the middle of Target, but the little person throwing the fit still looks pretty darn cute in general, even if the situation sucks. It's this cuteness factor that keeps them alive.
   
3. They still take naps. Oh, sure they fight naps a little better now, but they still take them. They haven't quite mastered being able to shake that nap completely. Sometimes, they even crash in public or in the car on the way home from shopping and they stay asleep long enough for you to carry them inside. And if you plan your day right, you can wear them out enough that they will crash and take an extra long nap. This gives you the chance to actually get stuff done. Unless you have another kid.
   
4. They learn something new every day. Sometimes it's good stuff that they learn, like putting on a sock or learning not to run into the road. Other days, it's something that makes your life more challenging like learning to strip of clothes in the middle of Target or how to flush the toilet paper when it's still on the roll. But the best part about them learning something new is the look on their face of mingled surprise, joy, satisfaction and pride. I love how Client Two claps after accomplishing even the smallest little things like stepping into his shorts when he's getting dressed.
   
5. They are slightly independant. They can do stuff. When they drop something on the floor, they can pick it up. When you get home and have to carry in an armload of groceries, they can walk into the house on their own. When it's time to leave the house you can say, "Go get your shoes!" and they just might run off to go get, or at least look for, their shoes. And when you drop something on the floor and don't feel like bending down to get it, you can have them hand it up to you. These little things that they can do can help to make life just a little bit easier. Sometimes. 
   
6. They still need you. Despite everything they have learned to do by themselves, toddlers still need you. They need you to buckle them in to their carseats and to help them get dressed. They can't prepare their own food or change their own diapers. They need you to order for them at restaurants and to communicate their needs to others. There is so much they still cannot do on their own, no matter how hard they try. But more than that, they need you. They can't live without you. They need you to give them quick snuggles before naptime and to scoop them up and comfort them when they fall down. They love their independence at the playground, but they need to be able to look up and see you. They need you there to keep them safe from the big, scary world around them.
   
7. They speak toddler-ese. The toddler age is the age when kids learn to speak. Little by little more and more real words spill from their mouths and their meaningless chatter starts to make sense. Some words are too tricky for their little tongues, though, so they make up substitute words. "Bear" becomes "Bo" (that's how Client One's bear got his name.), and Dora (the Explorer) becomes "Ba-ba". Food is "Nom-nom" and the words for blanket is "bankie." These cute little words are all wrong but still understandable (to mom, at least). In between the real words and the made-up words is nonsense babble. Little toddler tongues practice with all the sounds in the words they hear and they string them together in their own little language. Sometimes, you could almost swear that the babble actually is a real language, since they speak with such precision and emphasis. All three of these methods combined make up the language that is toddler-ese and it completely adorable.
   
8. They are fun to play with. Once they leave the toddler age and begin to creep into the preschooler age, they get bossy. They tell you how to play and make sure you are doing it exactly the way they want it done. When they are still in the toddler phase, everything is still fun. It's also easy to entertain them. They don't need something that lights up and talks to them in 14 different languages and uses the latest Android technology. Of course, they still love to play with things that light up and talk and sing, but other stuff is just as good. Want to play with blocks and then knock them over? Yes! Want to run around in a circle? Yes! Want to play a round of Peek-a-boo? Sure! And, oh my word, if you have some bubbles, you just made their day!
   
9. They can eat on their own. Eating is an artform for a toddler. Sometimes they get it down pretty quickly and become eating pros. Sometimes it takes a little bit longer, but eventually, they can eat at least part of a meal all on their own. They can grasp little pieces of food and even dip them in ketchup to make them more desirable. LIttle by little they even learn to use utensils to eat things like oatmeal or soup. And while they are entertaining themselves by eating, you might just be able to get a bite in from your own plate. Granted, older kids can do this as well, but toddlers just do it in such an adorable way! Plus, toddlers are most likely still strapped into a highchair or booster seat, which means they can't get up and run away from the table like an older kid can. Win. 
   
10. The are the perfect mix of baby and big kid. There is still so much baby in them. They aren't quite potty-trained yet and so are still in diapers. They can't really speak complete sentences. Chances are they still sleep in a crib, at least at the beginning. They even still have some of that baby look to them. But yet, there is that hint of an older child lying beneath the surface. They have started developing a unique personality that bubbles out in everything they do. They can laugh and joke and play with you. They even have opinions and preferences. They can do little tasks on their own, and boy are they proud! They can communicate their feelings and needs. And then they still need you to rock them to sleep. They still need snuggles. It's that perfect combination that seals the deal. 

The Day We Left a Man (Blanket) Behind

Today we almost had a disaster. We left church without "Bankie."

Let me introduce you to Bankie. Bankie is a homemade, blue blanket that Client Two takes pretty much everywhere with him. This blanket is fairly big and is much bigger than Client Two. When he carried Bankie around, he has to gather it all up into a ball or he will trip over it.

 


He's not quite as attached to Bankie as his sister is to her bear, Bo, but Bankie is still pretty important. He makes car rides and new experiences and visits to the doctor easier. He helps to comfort Client Two when he gets upset. And Bankie helps Client Two sleep. In fact, Client Two cannot and will not sleep without his Bankie. We have, on occasion, tried a substitute and they did not even almost work. When it comes time for bed or nap, all we have to say is "Go get Bankie!" and Client Two runs off and returns with Bankie balled up in him little arms and a big smile on his face.

Today, when we got home from church, it wasn't quite naptime, so Client Two scampered off to play with his sister. After about 30 minutes of play, I said, "Go get Bankie!" and Client One started to scamper off but stopped and looked around the room. Bankie was nowhere in sight. My heart stopped. While Client Two began wandering around the house looking for his little companion, I rushed out to the car to double-check if Bankie was there. He was not. Usually, after church, I pick up Client Two from his class while hubby gets Client One from her class. Today, we had switched. Hubby isn't used to double-checking that Bankie is in tow before leaving the pick-up area, so he didn't notice that a man got left behind. Once we realized where Bankie was, hubby rushed back to church and returned a little while later with Bankie in his hands. With a sigh of relief (me) and cries of joy (Client Two), Client Two went down for his nap.

Bankie makes my sweet boy happy!

Not every kid needs a security item and for awhile, we thought Client Two was going to avoid having one. After all, since I'm a SAHM, he doesn't often get left with people he doesn't really know. He's rarely ever apart from me. But, little by little, he did become attached to his blanket. Client One became attached to her bear, Bo, when she was pretty young. She was probably only about six months old at the time. Bo goes with her everywhere. We can't even leave him in the car when we run into the store. She also needs him to sleep. When we first realized she was getting attached to Bo, we bought a backup, but by the time the backup arrived, it was too late. She could tell the difference.

Bo and Client One enjoying their bottles.

We have forgotten Bo a couple of times. He even got left at church once before, but we caught it before we actually left the building. Once, poor Bo got dropped and left in a store. I can remember running back in and frantically searching the aisles for the ragged bear, with a crying toddler by my side. A sweet little, old lady brought him up to us with a smile and we thanked her profusely. In a year, Client One will go off to kindergarten and will have to leave Bo behind. I am not looking forward to that day. I'm sure there will be tears- from her and from me.

Bo loves trips to the zoo.

So, today, we checked off another milestone. We forgot the lovie. A small, often forgotten milestone, but a milestone nonetheless. Let's just hope it never happens again. I'm good with this being a one-time thing.

Bankie works well as a teether.

Client Two crashed in a restaurant one day and Bankie made it possible.