Parental Ponderings

It amazes me how different my two clients are. I know that Client Two is fairly new to the world but he is already so incredibly different from how his sister was at his age. Client One could never be still for more than a few seconds. She always wanted to be held and fought sleep with the best of them- she was too afraid she would miss out on something. And boy, did she hate being swaddled! Even the doctors and nurses at the hospital couldn't keep her wrapped up. She was also terribly colicky. The only thing that could calm her down was the sound of a vacuum cleaner. We actually bought an hour of vacuum cleaner sounds off of iTunes and I believe to this day that purchase was one of the best purchases of my entire life. She did have some good aspects, though. She was a good, regulated eater, which made her schedule easy to predict, and she only spit up once. Of course, her wanting to eat every two hours made for sleepless nights, but at least I could prepare for it.

Client Two, however, is almost the exact opposite. He is content to lie anywhere, as long as he is warm. He loves being snuggled and swaddled and even has a swaddling blanket that puts him instantly to sleep. He never cries unless he is really hungry, gassy, or has an uncomfortably dirty diaper. He sleeps like a pro, giving me small blocks of sleep at night and he even sleeps in. He makes babies look easy. Of course, the trade off is that he spits up a good bit and his schedule is terribly sporadic. He can eat and be hungry thirty minutes later or go three hours between meals. Of course, he is only two weeks old, so all this could change.

It makes me wonder, though, what kind of personalities my clients will grow to have and how different they will be in the long run.My brother and I are fairly different people. We have completely different interests and tastes. We move at very different places though life. I have been married for almost five years, have two kids and a college degree. He still lives at home, never completed college and is in his first truly serious relationship. There is nothing wrong with either of our lives, but we are very different, despite growing up in the same house under the same circumstances. Of course, we do have similarities. We are both fairly intelligent, though you may not guess it right away. We both have the same sense of humor and God help my mother if we were ever on the same side of mischief.

It's amazing how siblings mold each other and how we pick up on different things. I already struggle to treat Client Two with the exact same consideration as Client One, but I guess that's impossible, really. It's not that I love him any less or any differently, but the circumstance are different. Who knows what each will grow to become. All I can do as a parent is nurture them each on their own and encourage them in their interests and achievements. I have to accept that they are different and try my best not to compare them. I have to allow them the opportunities to become who they each need to be on their terms. And, most importantly, I need to put them on the path that God wants and pray that they become the people that He wants them to be.

Being a parents is hard work and there's a lot of pressure. When a kid screws up, people tend to look at and blame the parents. (And often rightly so.) But sometimes, it's hard. Most times, it's hard. But it IS possible. Some days, it doesn't seem like it. Those days when the toddle is screaming and disobeying and nothing is getting through. Those days seem impossible. But, there is always light at the end of the tunnel. There are the unasked-for hugs and kisses and cuddles. Or the moments when they say "thank you" without prompting or the moments where they simply fill you with pride. That's parenting. The up and downs of raising children are part of the trials of a parent's life, but they are so incredibly worth it.