Perfect Parents

Critics are trying to say that social media outlets such as Facebook and Pinterest are putting too much pressure on moms to be the "perfect mom." They claim that when moms post pictures of the creative crafts, beautiful baking projects, awesome adventures and perfect parties that moms who aren't doing all that stuff can feel bad about the way they parent. Well, let me tell you, when I post a picture of my clients doing a craft, don't come to my house for at least two weeks because that is how long it will take me to clean up the mess we made. No matter how perfect a picture may seem, that mom has a problem. On some level, I think we know this, so I don't blame Facebook. I blame Netflix.

Netflix? How can Netflix make you feel like a bad mom? Glad you asked.

Netflix provides instant child entertainment. Many of your kids' favorite shows are right there, waiting to be watched. And, let's face it, you're happy they are there because that means you may just be able to make dinner and eat it. Just maybe. But that means that you and your kid are watching the worlds most perfect parents, often in animated firm. 

Let's take Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood, for instance. Daniel's parents have near perfect patience with Daniel. There is one episode where the mother almost gets a little upset when Daniel brings sand inside and dumps it on the clean living room floor, but with a cute quippy song, she is good to go. And, on top of their infinite patience, they do activities with Daniel and his friends. They build him a playhouse and take a walk to pick fresh strawberries for strawberry pancakes for breakfast. They cook together and craft together and play together. And, on top of all that, they can explain everything perfectly, usually with one of the aforementioned quippy songs.

And there are many more examples in many more shows. Curious George never listens correctly and constantly gets in trouble, but he never faces any real consequences. In fact, for George, everything always ends up being perfect! And Barney, although techinically not a parent, just an "adult" in charge, has all the energy to teach valuable life lessons, educate in creative ways, craft using everyday objects and dance and sing. I have enough energy for one (maybe two) of those activities per day and Barney does it all in one episode! In Clifford the Big Red Dog, Emily Elizabeth and her friends and all the dogs have free reign over Birdwell Island. I barely let Client One in the backyard by herself!

Yes, Netflix presents us with "perfect" parents and parental figures. Now, we can roll our eyes because they are fictional, but the real problem is that our kids see this parental perfection. I can see the judgment in Client One's eyes when I can't dance endlessly like Barney or instantly create strawberry pancakes from scratch like Daniel Tiger's mom. And why does it always work out for George and she gets punished? And why can't she just waltz outside to draw with chalk whenever the feeling arises?

Now, the obvious answer is to just not let them watch Netflix or any TV for that matter, but as I said before, sometimes we need the break. Plus, they do learn other important things. I guess, in the end, we just have to grin and bear it. One day they will understand. It may be 20 years in the future when they have kids of their own, but they will understand. Hopefully.

So, stop blaming other moms for making you feel bad or incompetent. We all have areas where we fail and we all have our triumphs. For some, it's more obvious than others. We need to stop comparing ourselves to other moms, whether they are real or not. Why? Because we're awesome. That's why.