We are almost halfway through another school year. While this doesn't really apply to me as no one in my household is attending school right now, there are many people out there who are eagerly anticipating Christmas break. Of course, some of those students are whiny little brats who just want to be free from the horrors of their school dress codes. In fact, it seems that a week can't go by without a so-called "news story" coming across my feed declaring the unfairness of yet another school dress code and how it's ruining the life of some poor high school student. Every time I see one of these stories I roll my eyes. I went to a Christian private school and our dress code was a lot stricter than most of the dress codes these poor souls have to put up with. And, Baby, if I found a way to survive, so can they.
But let's get a few things straight about dress codes:
1) They are rules and if you break them you have to suffer the consequences. It does not matter if you and your friend and even your parents think the dress code is stupid. It does not matter for what reasons you think the dress code is stupid. It is a rule and if you break it, you get whatever punishment is set in place. There are some rules that I find stupid as an adult, but I still have to follow them. One example is the speed limit. If the speed limit on a road is 30 but I feel that 45 is a safe speed limit and I go 45, I can get a ticket. If caught speeding, I will have to pay a fine. It does not matter that the road is all down-hill and I would have to ride my brakes to go that speed. It does not matter that I'm in a hurry. It does not matter what I feel is a safe speed. What matters is that a rule, or in this case a law, was broken and I am responsible for whatever penalties come with breaking that rule. So, if there's a dress code and you violate it for whatever reason, you broke a rule and your deserve the penalties.
2) Dress codes are not personal vendettas to bring down certain students. Look, I've been to high school and college. I know that some teachers have favorites and least favorites and I know that sometimes they can react unfairly in certain situations. Some kids get away with murder while others get brought up on every tiny infraction. But here's the thing- if you don't break the dress code rules, you won't get caught for breaking the dress code. If you do break the dress code and you get caught, you are still getting in trouble for something you did wrong. It doesn't matter that Mr. Whatchmacallem hates you and that he let Suzie get away with the same dress code violation. Yes, it's unfair, but don't break the dress code and you won't have to worry about it. But even though that form of injustice happens on occasion, it's the reason behind every student who gets in trouble. Sometimes it's just a matter of the student breaking the dress code rule and getting busted. Sometimes the same student gets busted multiple times and yet they complain that they're being treated unfairly instead of actually fixing the problem. Einstein, I believe, was the one who said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results, and that man was pretty smart.
3) Dress codes are not all misogynistic. Yes, in general, girls often have more dress code rules than boys, but boys do have dress codes, too. The only ones that seem to whine about the unfairness of dress codes are girls, though. They are the one that throw temper tantrums and hissy fits on social media. That's one of the reasons I preferred guy friends over girl friends most of my life. Girls are whiny and they love a good cat fight. But you know what? Girls have more dress code rules because they have more to worry about. We have boobs. (Shocker, I know.) And boys like boobs. They like to look at them and think about them and think about what they want to do with them and to them. And if a girl shows up to class that boy is going to have a really hard time concentrating on how to find X if he's looking at boobs. And, yes, I know boys should learn to control themselves, but really, it's tough! You throw a bunch of boys going through puberty and dealing with fresh sexual urges into a room full of girls in short skirts with low-cut tops and even the best of teens would have trouble concentrating and controlling their urges. Some guys get easily turned on by a sexy pair of legs or a nice butt and clothes that emphasize those body parts can cause a girl to be distracting. And, I'll be honest with you, if a hot guy had come into my classroom when I was in high school I would have had a hard time contracting if the hot guy had taken off his shirt. You can find X on your own cuz I'm checking out the hot guy and wondering what it would be like to kiss him. Shoot, a guy wears a tight pair of pants, my imagination would probably start to run wild. Visions of a combination of High School Musical and Magic Mike would be playing in my head. I had a hard enough time not worrying about boys when they were fully dressed and boys I knew had the same problem not thinking about girls who were completely covered with parkas. So, yes, girls might get the short end of the stick when it comes to dress code but, let's face it, we are super sexy.
4) School is not a fashion club. How often do students whine that the clothes that are "in" or that they like don't fit the dress code? Yeah, it sucks that you can't wear whatever you want, but that's life. When you graduate from school chances are you will one day get a job with a dress code. I worked at a place for almost nine years where I had to wear a uniform. It was ugly and somewhat uncomfortable, but if I showed up without it on I would either get sent home without pay to change or would have been given a temporary uniform to borrow for the day. School dress codes are just preparing you for that day. And if you don't like the dress code, you don't have to follow it when you're not at school. You can wear whatever you want after before school, after school, on the weekends, on breaks and all summer long. Your school's dress code does not have to define you but it does get to tell you what you can't wear during those few school hours every day. Suck it up.
5) Any infraction, no matter how minute, is still breaking the rules. If the rule book says that a shoulder strap or sleeve on a shirt must be three inches and yours is two inches, you broke the rule. If a skirt or a pair of shorts can't be more that three inches above the knee and yours are five, you broke a rule. It does not matter that you barely broke a rule, you still broke it. It's just like with speeding. It does not matter if you are gong 50 over the speed limit or 5 over, you are still speeding and can still get a ticket. When I was in high school, one of our rules was that a top could not be more lowcut that three finger-widths or show cleavage. I have fairly large boobs and even some tops that fit the finger rule still showed cleavage. It made it hard to find tops. It really did. I also have long legs, making it difficult to find skirts that fit correctly lengthwise. I had friends who were almost the same height as me who could war the exact same skirt and not break the rule but when I put it on it was technically too short. But I suffered through and found appropriate clothes and managed to graduate without needing counseling from the oppressive rules.
In conclusion, yes dress codes can totally suck. They might not be fun at all. You might hate them, but you still have to follow them. If you feel a dress code is particularly unfair, the way to express that feeling is not by breaking it but by discussing it with someone in authority who might be willing to address the issue. And the parents are just as much to blame when something goes awry. Parents, don't rush to your little snowflake's side declaring how ridiculous the infraction is. Take said snowflake out and find some new clothes that fit the dress code. When you kid starts school, check the rule book and make sure the clothes you buy fit the dress code. It's really not that hard.
A rule is a rule, no matter how dumb. So follow it or face the consequences. And please, please, please keep your dress code issues off of social media and don't report them as a news story. Just don't. It just shows how petty and bratty you are.
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