A Nosey Tale

Well, it's official. I can go ahead and mark another item off the long list of parenting.

You know, when you're pregnant you hear lots of things. People are ready and willing to give you advice (whether or not you want it or asked for it) and they are prepared to regale you with all the stories they had raising their children. When we found out that Client Two was going to be a boy, people, predictably, chimed in with their "raising a boy" stories. None of these stories shocked me much since I have brother and witnessed him play out many of these types of tales. One of the things people told me was to be prepared to visit the Emergency Room. Well, it's happened. Last night, we went to the ER.

It started off as a pretty typical afternoon. Client Two was gleefully playing with a red ball. He would throw it and chase it around. Since he was content, I sat down at the computer in the same room to print off a few items. The next thing I know, he's coming up to me, fussing away. It took me a minute to realize that something about his nose was bothering him. A quick peek up his nostril made it appear that he just had a big booger, so I grabbed a tissue to get it out. When he screamed and thrashed trying to get away, I realized that something was amiss. It was no booger. It was as little, plastic bead.

I knew there was no way I was getting that sucker out on my own, so I called in reinforcement. Luckily, my mother-in-law lives right across the street. She came on over with a pair of tweezers and helped me fight the struggling toddler in an attempt to dislodge the bead, but our attempts proved futile. In fact, the combination of our efforts and his exuberant sniffing caused the bead to travel a little farther up into his nose. The next step was the doctor.

A quick call to a nearby Urgent Care facility let us know that they could help us out. So, Hubby and I loaded the fussy toddler into the car and headed up the road while Client One stayed behind to get some quality time with her "Frandma." We easily checked in and filled out all the information forms we need to before heading back to see a doctor. By this time, Client Two's poor little eyes was all watery and his face was a little red. A friendly nurse came in and weighed the poor little guy and checked his temperature, informing us that stuff like this was not at all unusual. While we waited for the doctor, Client Two played happily at a colorful little table in the corner and "read" a couple of the little books they provided.

When the doctor was ready, we set Client Two up on a table. He held his blankie pretty securely. The doctor looked up Client Two's nose and felt pretty optimistic since he could still see the bead. A nurse held Client Two's hands while I held his feet and the doctor went to work. He pulled out a little hook tool and tried to remove the bead, but it didn't seem to help. Next we tried to blow the bead out. That didn't work either. Then we went back to the hook thing, still to no avail. Then the doctor whipped out a handy, dandy sucker machine to suck the bead out, Nope. By this time, Client Two's nose had started to bleed just a smidgen and he was in hysterics. The doctor then referred us to the Emergency Room.

 My mom was nearby the hospital so she met us outside the ER. We went on in and gave our reason for being there and they directed us to the Pediatric ER where we were put on a waiting list to check in.

That tiny waiting room was packed full of snotty nosed kids from babies to teens. After about 45 minutes to an hour of waiting, we were finally checked in and put on the official list to wait for a room to see an ER doctor. The check-in nurse got all our important information put into the computer and then glumly informed us that there were 16 people in line in front of us. The longest part of our wait began. By the time we checked in, it was almost 7:00 pm- Client Two's bed time. And he hadn't had dinner yet. We pacified him with fruit bites and water for a bit while trying to keep him from getting too unruly. A nice dad in the waiting room was happy to let Client Two play with his keys for a bit. While I waited, I played a game in my head which I named "Guess Why the Kid is in the ER." Some of the kids were obviously ill or hurt, like the toddler coughing his guts out and the kid with gauze taped over his eye. Others seemed perfectly fine. (And those kids who seemed fine actually ended up leaving an hour or so into their wait, so I guess they couldn't have been too badly off.) One other mom who was there with her 16 year old son was clearly playing this game in her head as she watched Client Two race around. "What's he here for?" she asked, striking up a little conversation. "I'm assuming he probably stuck something up his nose?" She had all the look of a "Been there, done that" mom. For five long hours we waited, passing the time with conversation, a movie playing that had no volume, some games on iPads hooked to the wall, chips and coffee from vending machines and chasing around an exhausted, grumpy toddler.

Finally, a little after 11:00 pm they called us back. They took us to a small room about the size of a closet that had a small bed, tv and some medical equipment. A nurse gave Client Two a cute little gown to put on and put a hospital bracelet on his ankle. While we waited for the actual ER doctor, we flipped on the TV and it seemed to entertain Client Two for awhile. At least this TV had volume that we could hear.

When the doctor came in, he checked Client Two's nose and quickly found the bead. Using a little metal hook tool (a lot like the one at the other doctor's but a little smaller) he pulled the bead out in about 30 seconds while the nurse and I held Client Two down. It was a snotty, yellow bead. We scooped up Client Two and comforted him while the nurse went to process the discharge papers. Client Two got VERY upset when we made him take off the gown. I think he thought it was pajamas and, seeing how it was past 11:30 by this time, he was ready for bed. The nurse made it all better when she returned with not the discharge papers but a big, stuffed Pluto dog.

It was a long night. It's a story that I now get to tell to other parents so we can commiserate together the difficulties of parenting. It's a "I never had this happen until I had a boy" story. And it's something I'll cool with never happening again. Been there, done that.