Dirt, Snails and Puppy Dog Tails

When I found out I was expecting a boy, I was regaled with stories of how messy boys are. I simply would smile and nod. I grew up with a brother so I thought I had a pretty good grasp on how messy boys could be. I mean, we shared a bathroom for goodness sake! Plus, I already had one child and even if she was a girl, I had seen some pretty good messes. Girls aren't all "sugar and spice" all the time.

My favorite mess was Client One's cereal mess. She was alone for maybe a minute and managed to dump an entire box onto the floor. (But she did try to pour into a bowl.)

I have seen messes. I have cleaned messes. But then, I got a boy.

Last night, I put Client Two in his crib all happy and fed and then I went to bed myself. After only about 30-45 minutes he began fussing. Now, I usually let him fuss a little bit at first. Sometimes he's just a bit gassy and he works it all out and falls back to sleep. But, this time, he kept fussing, so I got up and checked on him and found he had soaked his pajamas.

Let me backtrack a minute to tell you another fun little boy fact. They can pee around and through their diapers like nobody's business. I had a few people warn me of this when I was pregnant followed by advice as to which diaper brands work the best. This was another thing I kind of brushed off with a sweet smile. Client One had her own issues with diapers occasionally leaking, especially at night, so I thought I knew what they were talking about. Nope. Somehow, even when when everything is positioned correctly and the diaper is put on perfectly, major leaking can occur. I found that the advice of friends actually came in handy. Luvs and Target brand diapers are the ones that work the best with Client Two. Pampers are the worst. Huggies are somewhere in between. They work pretty well unless he pees a lot at one time.

Anyhow, back to last night. Client Two peed his bed (for the record he was wearing Huggies). I scooped him up, changed him into a new onesie and got him back to sleep in his crib. He woke up a couple more times that night to eat and then went back to sleep peacefully. Well, about 5:00, he wakes up wiggly and fussy. After a minute or so, he still hasn't settled down so I peek into his crib to check on him, figuring he might just need a diaper change. Somehow the little Houdini had managed to unsnap his onesie (still trying to figure that part out) and navigate half out of his diaper before a massive poop. Poop was everywhere! I sleepily pulled him out and cleaned him and the mess up best I could, marveling the entire time how a one-month-old could create such a disaster with seemingly so little effort! I mean, the kid can barely hold his own head up for a more than a minute! The only conclusion was that he is a boy and boys are messy.

Boys are definitely made of "dirt and snails and puppy dog tails*" with a few snuggles thrown in. It kind of makes me worry about what's to come, but that's another post entirely. 

*Several variations of this poem exist. I chose the version that best fit this post. :)